just some evening thoughts

I’ve never been a good writer. I’ve never been convincing with the words I’ve written or said. In fact, I’ve never been much good at anything really. I haven’t had any true talents. No extraordinary skills. Nothing stands out about me, I find myself rather plain.

I’ve always been the odd one out. Never really fit in with anyone or any kind of crowd. It’s uncomfortable growing up feeling like you don’t belong. For the most part I don’t have that one female friend who is my person. Most of my friendship are because of work, or shared husband’s friends, but I don’t have that “I’ll die for you” friendship with another female that I’ve longed for basically as long as I can remember.

I’ve always been a mix of personality traits. Kind of creative but really not creative at all. Outgoing but also cautious. I would take these personality quizzes and you’re given 4 options, I ended up splitting evenly over 3 of them. I never had my own personality fit.

You know that one toy you’ve played with as a kid that has all the different shaped blocks slipping into it’s rightful spot to join the others? I feel like I’m a shape that doesn’t have a designated place for me to slip through to join the rest.

These are just some things I’ve been pondering the last few nights, along with some other things that I want to share in this space.